CHAPTER 10
BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM
GOD
Life has not been too great
as of late. I haven’t been able to
write a single word for several months now.
As I try to assess what’s happening, I think I might be having a Desert
Experience, but I’m not sure. My
communication with God seems to be one sided, me talking to God with no
response coming back my way. I’m not
sure if I’m just not listening or whether my cell phone is out of reach. This desert stuff has you in some fairly
remote locations you know.
Even
though I haven’t changed any aspect of my life, the relationship I’m having with
God is different. God seems further
away, and I don’t know why. I still
read the Holy Scripture each morning before work. I still pray throughout the day.
I’m still attending bible study twice a week, and I’ve been attending
church each Sunday and Wednesday. Heck,
I’ve even been returning to church Sunday evenings for a men’s fellowship
hour. Yet, God and I are not
communicating. I wonder if I’m too
wrapped up in this world’s problems, or not wrapped up enough? Am I losing my faith? No, I don’t believe so! Then what is it? Is God purifying me? Is
He putting to death the last of the old Brucie Becker? Am I half way into my experience, or half
way out? Am I blessed for having it or
have I miffed God somehow, some way? I
just don’t know. Yet, I still hear a
small voice calling from deep inside.
That voice keeps repeating, “Be still and know that I am God.” Although I am a very proactive person, I
have no choice, but to obey the small voice.
I have no choice but to be still and believe in who and what God is.
The
Psalms have always been, and continue to be, a comfort for me during this track
in the desert. Not one specifically,
but bits and pieces of them all.
Perhaps, like we said before, misery loves company, and when I compare
my problems with that of David’s, mine are pale in comparison. It does one’s heart good to get in touch
with the saints of old, and share the way in which they handled adversity. It’s uplifting to read of the unwavering love
David had for his Heavenly Father, even in the face of tribulation. Even though some writers of the Psalms seem
to face insurmountable odds, God’s love continued to comfort them. One great Psalm that has provided an
exceptional amount of comfort for me, is Psalm 91. In it we hear the following comforting words: “He who abides in
the secret places of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the
Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He
is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” Surely He shall cover you with His feathers,
and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and
buckler. You shall not be afraid of the
terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day, nor of the pestilence that
walk in darkness. Nor of the
destruction that lays waste at noonday.
A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand;
but it shall not come near you.”
There
almost seems to be a natural progression into Proverbs from the book of
Psalms. Perhaps it's because Proverbs
follows the book of Psalms in the Holy Bible, or perhaps its because both speak
plainly to life and its ills. Within
these two books lay all the peace-of-mind and wisdom one would need to make it
through this valley we call life. In
fact, all of Solomon’s writings are filled with much needed wisdom. During the course of my studies through
Solomon’s books, namely Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, I’ve seen great wisdom,
great riches, and great accomplishments; you know, your basic great king
stuff. Yet near the end of Solomon’s
life he stuns his readers by saying, “vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”
Solomon
concludes the book of Ecclesiastes with the following revelation/warning. He says, “Fear God and keep His
commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every work into judgment, including every
secret thing, whether it is good or whether it is evil.”
That
sounds like great advice in helping me to find my way through this desert
thing. Focus on God. I need to place God at the very center of my
life. The very center of my being! You know, I’ve noticed something about
life. That being when you focus on
others, and take the emphasis off yourself, life seems to get better. When you see the problems facing others
yours have a way of shrinking. Perhaps
by focusing on God and the great mission He has commissioned for us, all this
desert experience stuff will fade away like one of those glorious desert
sunsets you read so much about.
As
you might remember from previous chapters, I am a member of the Armed
Forces. Being in government I’ve
noticed how easy it is for one to get lost.
We sometimes have training in the Army that includes negotiating your
way through a navigation course. They
drop you off and tell you to find your way home. You have coordinates that you must plot on your map as you try to
find your way from point A to point B.
What’s scary is if I’m able to get lost in the woods, where there are
things to focus on, what’s going to happen to me in the desert were there are
no real objects to walk toward? There
is nothing to shoot an azimuth to. Will
I wonder forever? But wait, what is
that? There is something to focus
on! It’s the cross of Jesus. I have something to walk toward! I’m saved!!
You
see, even though you believe yourself to be lost, God doesn’t. He has placed landmarks along the way for
you to find. Salvation depends on your
ability to recognize those landmarks and understand that they are from
God. So many times we accept the credit
for the things that are from God. The
sin of sins, the sin of pride! The sin of Lucifer!! The sin of Death!!!
Dear
God, I know you’re there even though I can’t see you, and I recognize the signs
that you have left for me to find. I
ask that we once again commune and have fellowship, as we have in the
past. I ask that you help me to find my
way back to you for I know that I am the one who strayed. Like the little lamb who got separated from
the flock, I ask that you send your shepherd, Jesus, to find me.
Well
it’s time, once again, to make a choice.
Will I go right or wrong? Will I
take the road of least resistance, or the road less traveled? Will I feel sorry for myself, or will I
learn and grow stronger from the lessons I have learned? I tell you the suspense is killing me. What
will I do? Only kidding, I’ve already
chosen my path. I’ve already made the
decision. As Joshua said in the book
that bears his name, “And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for
yourself this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your father’s
served that were on the other side of the river, or the gods of the Amorites,
in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will
serve the Lord.”
Once
again I am drawn back to the book of Psalms, Psalm 46 to be exact. “God is our refuge and strength, a very
present help in trouble. Therefore we
will not fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried
into the midst of the sea; though its waters roar and be troubled, though the
mountains shake with its swelling.
There is a river whose stream shall make glad the City of God, The holy
place of the tabernacle of the Most High, God is in the midst of her, she shall
not be moved; God shall help her, just at the break of dawn. The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved;
He uttered His voice, the earth melted.
The Lord of hosts is with us (me); the God of Jacob is our refuge. Come; behold the works of the Lord, who has
made desolations in the earth. He makes
wars cease to the ends of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in
two; He burns the chariot in the fire. Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The Lord of hosts is with us (me); The God
of Jacob is our refuge.” Yes, there is
a small voice repeating inside my head, “Be still, and know that I am God.” What great advice. What great news! Well, I must go now. I hear God once again calling my name. I hear the Shepherd calling to me, His lost
sheep. I’m coming daddy! “Ah my little lamb where have you been?” Truly Lord, I just don’t know.